Grace x2 Marriage Conference [Part 5]
By Alan Wright — July 25, 2018
Are you ready for some good news?
Good communication in your marriage or other relationships isn’t elusive; it’s simple and close at hand.
Today’s Text: “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” (Ephesians 4:15–16, ESV)
Everyone knows that good communication is a huge key to great relationships, but not many have ever really contemplated the purpose of communication. Too many conversations between husbands and wives go something like this:
Wife: “I need more attention from you.”
Husband: “Oh, here we go – focusing on my problems. I DO give you attention, but you don’t appreciate it.”
Wife: “You’re so busy with work and other things.”
Husband: “Well, you just want more from me than I can possibly give. You’re too demanding.”
Here’s the fundamental problem with that type of talk – IT’S NOT COMMUNICATION!
Speaking words toward someone is not necessarily communication at all.
The root of the word “communication” is the same as the root of the word: “commune.” To commune with someone is to be with someone. The purpose of communication is not primarily to fix something, to correct something or to convince someone. The purpose of communication is shared life. If the wife says, “I need more attention from you,” and the husband says, “Tell me more so I can understand your feelings,” communication has begun.
The reason that we fail to communicate well is because of deep insecurities that cause defense reactions. But when are hearts are drenched with Gospel affection and affirmation in Christ, we can position ourselves for openness and intimacy rather than self-protection. When you focus on the grace of God, you’ll have more grace to commune in your communication. And that’s the Gospel!